


serenity

by serendipitea



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Comedy, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Post-Canon, Romantic Fluff, Self-Esteem Issues, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, just a little bit of it, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:14:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25074454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serendipitea/pseuds/serendipitea
Summary: It should be strange that what brings together Suki and Zuko is another bout of assassination attempts at the Fire Lord's life. But it isn't, because it's always in the moments of silence that their hearts grow fonder.
Relationships: Suki/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 25
Kudos: 80





	serenity

There are seven assassination attempts that threaten Zuko’s life on his trip to the Fire Nation colonies. He had been warned by his advisors before leaving that tensions were high after the recent deal to sign off the colonies as part of constructing Republic City. A number of discharged soldiers, unhappy that they would be out of jobs and conveniently also supporters of Ozai, had formed a society that sought to rid Zuko of the throne. They presented no threat miles away but now that Zuko was compelled to visit, to oversee the planning and redistribution of resources, it was much like their dreams had come true.

It was with this knowledge that Zuko had requested the Kyoshi warriors to be his security. Suki had quickly agreed, reminding Zuko that she was always on his side. He felt more than thankful at that moment, he had hoped his words showed enough of his deep gratitude. Gratitude not only for the security, but for the love she showed him too. Though, Zuko didn’t think she knew about the intention of the latter.

The assassination attempts were brutal. Much more well thought out than any of them had assumed.

Now, staring out at the balcony of his high rise residence and watching the moon glisten at the eve of his last day, Zuko hopes his trip wasn’t futile. The first few days were productive, but the subsequent threats to his life made him worry and the worry had chased away his sleep. In turn, his lethargy made him irritable and disoriented.

He sighs, trying to clear his mind. Loud shouts from the courtyard break the silence. It is the newest assassin being dragged away by guards. He had slipped into Zuko’s bathing room this night, while Zuko was changing for bed. Zuko almost didn’t hear the unsheathing of the knife.

Zuko is still wet, his bath robe sticking to his body as he leaves a puddle of water beneath his feet. He shifts his neck around, trying to crack it enough for some ease. Zuko misses the quite of the Fire Nation court. He misses the safety and the tranquility. He misses sleep most of all. He thought that he had endured his life’s worth of assassination attempts years ago right after his ascension to the throne. Clearly he hasn’t become worthy enough of a ruler to be accepted completely. He sighs, almost in defeat.

A knock at the balcony door shifts his thoughts and Zuko turns. It’s Suki. He smiles.

“How are you holding up?” Suki knows the answer: not good. She can see the dark circles under his eyes and has noticed the way his fingers have twitched out of exhaustion every morning during their stay.

She knows the answer, but she asks in hopes that he’ll open up. She knows its hard for Zuko, to talk, to explain, to not keep everything bottled up all the time unless he’s angry. She hopes that prompting something out of him will ease his mind. He needs someone. Someone to remind him to go easy on himself. Someone to care. Maybe even more that.

He shakes his head, “I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep till we get home.”

Suki nods, walking over beside him. They turn and watch the moon together in silence.

Zuko manages to cast a glance over at her, her hair is ruffled up. She was patrolling the halls one last time before bed, making sure another Kyoshi warrior was on guard at Zuko’s door. The timing was almost like fate, Zuko realized. She was about to leave but when she heard the first yell she ran in. From some reason, the assassin let up on Zuko to attack Suki. He thinks that it may have been to take her hostage or use her as bait. But it doesn’t make sense. He’s never heard of bodyguards used to get to hearts of leaders. It didn’t matter, Zuko had come up behind him when he raised his knife to Suki’s throat. He had pulled him into chokehold, long enough for him to faint. Now he was the judicial court’s problem.

Zuko’s eyes travel to her face, her skin glows in the pale moonlight, its weak reflected rays making her blue eyes glimmer. He doesn’t know how but her auburn hair burns bright like fire. Her mouth is pressed into a tight line. Zuko frowns. _She’s worried._

“We plan to leave the morning after,” Zuko hopes its enough to console her, he isn’t very good at this but he tries his best. He wants to be the same comforting presence that she is for him.

When she turns to him and meets his eyes, her lips pull down in a sad gaze as she searches his face.

_Oh no, was that the wrong thing to say?_

“I’m really worried about you, Zuko.”

“Oh…” Zuko swallows, “Don’t be.”

Suki’s eyes close, he thinks she might be tired but when they open again her gaze is burning. She wants him to talk, she is ready to force it out of him, “Zuko…”

“I’m okay… Just tired,” He lets out a deep breath looking over to the sky again, “I’m tired of living in fear.”

Her silence begs him to keep speaking.

“I just… I thought I put this behind me years ago. When I was a new face on the throne and my father had been ousted I almost knew what was coming. But after those assassination attempts came more, and then more. And it made me weak physically and mentally. It made me feel I really was unfit for the throne. I felt like a banished prince, a traitor who stole the throne for power. It was difficult. But still I persisted. I wanted to be loved. I wanted to make my country proud. I thought I could be safe now, years later, but it never ends.”

He pauses to draw a shaky breath, his tight grip on the balcony railing causing his knuckles to go white.

“It never ends, Suki. No matter what I do. No matter how hard I try. No matter the good I bring. No matter all the blood, sweat and tears I pour into this nation. It doesn’t end.”

Suki thinks that tonight she should put away her fears. He needs her. So she puts on her heart’s armour to still it’s erratic beat. Her hand drifts over to his, thumb caressing his skin softly. His grip loosens at the railing and after a moment he turns it over. She interlaces their fingers, placing her other hand on his arm almost as if to steady him.

He swallows, turning his head slightly to look to her. She shifts her body towards him, lifting her head slightly to meet his gaze now that they are so close.

“It will get better. I promise you.”

He nods. He wants so badly to believe her, if only for her to continue looking at him with all the hope that she does.

❦

The day before departure the Kyoshi warriors consulted Zuko. Exiting the city in clear view of everyone would be dangerous, it could even prompt an improvised attack. They needed to have the Fire Lord guarded and completely secure from their compound to the Fire Nation boats. Zuko had suggested travelling in a caravan accompanied by them but another warrior had intelligently reminded him of the previous time it had gone wrong. After a long hour of discussion it was Ty Lee that burst out an idea: “Hiding him in plain sight!”

After mulling it over, the group had agreed. The best way to ensure Zuko’s safety was to dress him as a Kyoshi warrior and exit with him. They decided to split the group, to avoid suspicion. And with the caravan he had arrived in, they would fill their newly accumulated luggage of celebratory gifts and scrolls of construction plans.

Now, as advised, Zuko wakes before sunrise. Rather, he leaves bed before sunrise. Sleep evades him once again. Anxiety about the plan for their departure had worried him through the night: if he couldn’t blend in, he would be an easy target.

He pushes himself out of bed, pulling on a night robe, tying it tightly and shuffling out of his chambers. He nods to the Kyoshi warrior at post and she leads him to Suki’s chambers. She had promised to help Zuko get ready. Another act of kindness that touched Zuko’s heart. Another one he didn’t know how to repay.

As he enters, the door shuts behind him and he walks to Suki who is seated at her vanity. She has three different containers placed on the table, each holding a different colour of paint: red, white and black. He sits at the chair positioned opposite her.

“Ready to be a Kyoshi warrior?” she teases, smiling as she pulls brushes out of a sac in front of her.

Zuko grins, “Ready to leave.”

Suki shakes her head, rolling her eyes in fake annoyance. She wants badly to return too. She wants to see Zuko at peace.

Suki picks up the canister of white paint in one hand and her other hand positions her brush into the paste. She swirls it around in the thick concoction a few times before leaning forward. Zuko takes in a sharp breath as her face stops barely inches away from her. She smiles. Zuko thinks its to comfort him but he’s not sure what for: the ceaseless bout of assassination attempts that have made for this situation or for the proximity. He returns the smile, small and polite.

Her right hand comes under his chin and softly she uses two fingers to angle his face the right way since Zuko’s larger height makes for an awkward angle- even sitting down. Her left hand points the brush to his right cheek and slowly she begins painting. The strokes begin at the side of his nose and paint his skin across his face. After his right cheek and forehead are covered, Suki removes her hands and dips her brush into the small canister again.

“Close your eyes for me,” It is a direct order and Suki almost bites her tongue realizing she is bossing around a Fire Lord but then smirks, remembering that Zuko gets more than enough grovelling on the daily.

Zuko’s eyes flutter shut obediently once her hand returns, painting his right eyelid. When Suki moves the brush to his chin, he looks down at her concentrated face. She is focused and her big eyes are narrower as her cheeks scrunch up to make sure her brush never jumps out of line. Zuko notes her traditional makeup, the red is bright and blazing, her eyes look sharper than ever with the black outline and the plain white makes her look like a spirit. The moonlight filtering in from her thin curtains makes her look unreal.

_Beautiful._

Zuko blinks, quickly dismissing the thought.

Once she finishes his chin, her brows scrunch together as her hands flail about slightly. Zuko understands she isn’t sure where to place them. She relents after a moment, resting her left hand on his shoulder after moving the brush to her right hand. Her ability to use both hands for such a skilled task surprises Zuko. He’s noticed that in the past few days, a lot of things about Suki surprise Zuko.

She meets his eyes, they flicker to his cheek and then back.

_Oh… The scar._

Zuko panics for a moment. He knows it looks bad, horrifying even, but to see it up close must be worse. Zuko knows it. It’s why he avoids all the mirrors in his room. The skin is marred and tough and ugly. His left eye is sharp, narrow and no matter what he does looks glaringly evil. He wants to apologize, _I can do this side myself, I understand._ But he feels frozen in place.

Suki smiles again, this time it is much softer because her smile reaches her eyes. Her thumb strokes his scar. It’s gentle in a way Zuko has never known.

He can’t breathe. So he closes his eyes. Maybe if he doesn’t have to stare back at the glittering blues in her eyes he can find some solace.

Suki begins painting, starting from the bottom of his face and building up. Zuko can feel her strokes, they are much lighter when she reaches the scar: soft and featherlike.

“It- It’s healed,” A beat of silence, Zuko assumes that she must be wondering what he meant, “You don’t have to worry, the skin is healed.”

Suki continues painting the same way, “You know Zuko, you’d do well not to tell a Kyoshi warrior how to do makeup.”

There’s teasing in her tone and Zuko is grateful for it.

As she reaches his eye, her hand tightens at his shoulder. He thinks it means she’s trying to be more careful. Or maybe she wants a better angle again. Zuko can’t think much of anything because his shoulder feels as if its on fire.

When she finishes his face, she sits back and once again dips her paint brush into the white paint. Zuko opens his eyes. Suki looks up at him and then down at his neck.

“I’ll need you to… Um…”

Zuko tilts his head, confused.

If he were even the slightest bit more perceptive, he’d notice how the small action makes Suki fight off a smile.

“Your neck, it should be painted as well.”

“Oh… of course. Right,” Zuko shifts slightly, pulling his arms out of his night robe and resting his hands on his lap.

Suki looks away quickly, swirling the brush once more as she tries her best to glue her eyes to the canister. She’d expected him to push the neckline away, not shed the robe off completely. A blush climbs its way up to paint her cheeks and she thanks herself for having applied her thick makeup earlier. She shakes her head slightly, she reminds herself she’s strong. She’s a warrior, a _Kyoshi_ warrior at that- a shirtless man is not going to fluster her. Even if he’s much more than just another man to her.

When she looks up she looks only at his neck. The moments feel like hours as she drags the paint over his skin, when she reaches his clavicle she tries her best to ignore his toned chest.

“Can you tell me what it means?” Zuko’s quiet voice comes. He’s watching her closely as her hand continues to paint strokes of white on his skin.

Suki looks up to meet his eyes and knows immediately his gaze is doing nothing but worsening her burning cheeks. It takes a minute before she can formulate a response.

“The white represents treachery, a sinister nature, suspicion of others, and the willingness to visit evil deeds upon them.”

Zuko’s eyes furrowed. For some reason, he never associated with Suki with such traits. He cuts off his own thoughts. Kyoshi warriors. He never associated the _Kyoshi warriors_ with such traits. _Right._

“Done with the white,” she breathes out shortly.

Zuko nods and adjusts the robe back on as Suki lifts the red canister next, it is much more shallow than the previous one. She grabs a smaller brush and once it is coated, asks Zuko to close his eyes again. She starts on his good eye, following the natural curves and then moves to the other.

“Red means honor, heroism and loyalty. They are hidden to the uninitiated and shown only to sworn members,” Suki tells him, “And I guess sometimes we make an exception for a Fire Lord close to our hearts.”

Zuko is thankful his eyes are closed and his face is painted because he feels a betraying blush heating his skin.

Suki continues her work in the comfortable quiet. She hopes that in the numbers they travel with he will be able to blend in despite the obvious asymmetrical makeup. She moves onto the black liner, her personal favourite. Suki lines his eyes in the same thick ways that she does for herself.

Finally, she brings forwardan even smaller brush dipped in red as Zuko opens his eyes. Her eyes meet his gaze and then flit down to his lips. Zuko thinks his heart might jump out of his chest. Suki thinks the few strokes that she makes to colour his lips last a lifetime. When she finishes and looks up once more, they are both staring with bated breath.

A knock outside of the door followed by a voice calling for Suki breaks her trance. She blinks as if she’s woken up from a dream.

“Almost done!” She calls back.

The sound of retreating footsteps echo in the silence of the room.

Suki looks to him and admires her work. Surprisingly, his sharp, handsome features compliment the traditional makeup well.She grins without realizing. Perhaps Zuko could do to incorporate red paint for his lips more often. It definitely suits him well.

Zuko’s eyes widen under her scrutinizing gaze, “What?” He asks, almost afraid of her response.

She shakes her head dismissively. Zuko pouts and Suki wonders if he knows how adorable he looks. Her smile grows wider.

Zuko huffs and looks away causing Suki to roll her eyes. She almost can’t believe how much of a baby the strong and mighty Fire Lord Zuko is. So she decides to give in.

“You look perfect.”

Zuko’s head snaps back to her, eyes wide.

_Perfect…_

No one has ever said anything positive about how Zuko looks. Especially not _perfect._ He doesn’t understand. Perhaps she means the makeup. Her good handiwork and her skill. That is definitely perfect. Zuko doesn’t even need a mirror for confirmation.

Suki stands then and offers her hand for him. Zuko takes it. Suki doesn’t let go as she leads him outside.

❦

Zuko breathes a sigh of relief that night on the ship, weariness strikes his body after dinner and for the first time in so long he feels he can actually settle in and drift into undisturbed sleep. He tells himself to go to bed now, before his mind starts overthinking and makes him stay up late finalizing orders and contracts.

_Just a few more moments…The moon is too beautiful to escape._

Soft footsteps walk up behind him and Zuko thinks it is a miracle he isn’t startled. Leaving the colonies is like being rid of a virus.

“Still sleepless?” Suki’s voice questions.

Zuko looks to her, and then back onto the open night sky, not a cloud in sight.

“I just missed the calm.”

Suki nods in understanding, her hand finds his again and Zuko almost sighs in happiness at the comfort it brings him. She turns to search his face, the fatigue that plagues him makes her heart ache. She wants so badly to usher him to bed immediately. But she wants even more to stay here, in the little bubble they’ve made.

She convinces herself that just a few more moments can’t hurt. A few more moments to spend beside him.

She doesn’t betray herself, speaking up later, “You should rest.”

Zuko takes a deep breath. He looks to her, locking gazes for longer than he can count. His eyes drop to her lips. He has a inkling of what he wants to do, something small and soft and sweet before he retreats to his room. Something that helps him show how he really feels, because he knows well enough that his words never come out right.

But Zuko relents into his self-doubt.

He settles for squeezing her hand tightly and then letting go, “Good night, Suki, sleep well.”

“Good night, Zuko.”

❦

It’s midnight again, this time in the Fire court’s royal gardens. Suki is holding his hand again, they’re seated as she makes small ripples in the turtleduck pond. Zuko is watching the water, their reflection looks like a dream. Suki’s hair is open, reddish brown strands framing her face and her lips are a light pink, stained from recently washed off makeup. Her small hand in his makes Zuko feel like he’s on top of the world, he still isn’t used to the way she makes him feel.

Zuko thinks about the past few days in the silence that surrounds them. He thinks about how he would have lost his mind if Suki wasn’t with him, even if the rest of the Kyoshi warriors were. That realization makes him think about every other time he’s spent with her. How she is always willing to listen and console. How she is more than comforted by his small gestures when words fail him. How a bittersweet feeling settles on both of them every time she returns home to Kyoshi Island. How overjoyed he is to see her when she returns to his court.

“Thank you.”

“What is there to thank me for?” Suki questions.

“You’ve given me a lot of strength,” Zuko admits, “Not just… Not just this trip. But always.”

Suki smiles, her hand stilling in the water, “Is that so, your majesty?”

She’s joking around and Zuko wants to play along but he decides he needs to be serious for what he needs to say next.

“Suki,” He squeezes her hand, “You’re very important to me…”

“You’re important to me.”

“No-”

“No?”

“I mean yes- and thank you- but-” He huffs out in frustration at his inadequate words. This all sounded a lot more romantic in his head, “What I mean is, you mean a lot to me. More than anyone else. I care for you… Not just as a friend or- or a best friend. More than that.”

Suki lifts her head from the pond, looking to him, eyes wide, shining, and hopeful like she’s waiting for something. She watches him silently, leaning in ever so slightly.

 _Why won’t she say anything?_ Zuko panics, and Suki catches it immediately. She can see his overthinking build a mountain of concern in his head. She knows his bad habits too well now. He is always doomed to think the worst.

She rolls her eyes. _What a dummy._

She closes the distance and presses her lips to his.

_Oh!_

Zuko’s eyes are wider than ever. His brain shuts off, and that’s when he melts into the kiss, eyes falling shut. He kisses her back softly, his free hand moving to cup her cheek. His mind feels like it’s combusted and his body feels like its light like a cloud. She’s intoxicating in the sweetest way possible.

When they pull away, their breaths mingle. Suki rests her forehead on his, her heart hammering endlessly. She thinks that she could faint. He makes adrenaline rush through her like no battle could. He must be a drug. It would explain why she hates to leave him, feels marks of withdrawal away from him, and soars sky high when she gets to touch him again.

A crush suppressed for so long for the sake of their careers finally surfaces. She wants to take pride that she initiated their first kiss but she has to admit that she’s thankful Zuko confessed. She was too afraid. Too afraid to ruin the friendship they’d built, the trust they’d forged, the memories they shared.

He presses her lips to her’s again, and she forgets her worries.

Suki wonders how their hands always end up laced together.

Zuko wonders how they always find each other under the moonlight.

**Author's Note:**

> this fic was written while impulsively listening to "you are in love" by taylor swift on repeat. i'd like to think its the zuki national anthem.
> 
> thank you so much for reading! i'd love to hear your thoughts so please do comment!


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